It’s Thursday April 2. We’ve been in self-quarantine for a few weeks now and I’m realizing the situation is affecting me a lot more than I would like. I try to pretend it doesn’t bother me and everything is great, but its not true. I’ve learned a lot about myself in the past few weeks. I’m realizing I need to spend more time focusing on the good that will come out of the situation, instead of being worried about the negative effects of the crisis.
With that said, here are a few serious and not so serious things I’ve learned about myself during this pandemic.
#1: Change is HARD
Okay. I’ve always known this. I’m a routine oriented person. I like planning and setting goals. I thrive off knowing an end result and putting actionable steps in place to achieve what I want. Change is inevitable though. Life is constantly forcing us into changes, rather they are positive or negative. I struggled earlier this year with quitting my job and homeschooling my son. Deep down, I knew it was the best decision, but it was still hard. I cried for days when I had to quit teaching at my first school and transfer to a new school. The decision was made with best intentions and was a blessing in disguise, but it was hard for me to adjust to a “new normal.”
There have been a ton of changes, both minor and major, that have come from this medical crisis. Going to the grocery store now requires careful planning to ensure a repeat trip is not needed soon after. Kids aren’t playing outside with friends and many adults are working from home. Going on a much needed date with your significant other cannot happen, unless of course you’re going to meet up in the living room.
Change isn’t bad. There are many wonderful things that come from change. I’ve been fortunate to spend more time with my boyfriend and his son as we self quarantine together. There have been struggles, mostly on my part, learning to adjust to living with two extra males.
Through the struggle and changes, I’ve realized how fortunate I am to have a man who loves me. I’ve realized drinking coffee in the morning is better with a person you love sitting next to you. While it can be a challenge to cook meals for a family 4, I’ve realized that it is is rewarding being able to provide for people you love (even if the food isn’t good…. see below). I’ve realized it’s not a bad thing to let your child play a few extra video games and have a few extra snacks. I’ve realized two kids are harder than one, but with extra kids comes so much extra love. Through this pandemic and change, it has become apparent what I want in life and changes I want to be deliberate about making once its over.
#2: I LOVE homeschooling
I had already started to realize this before the pandemic, but I think seeing the crisis in our schools has made me more grateful for homeschool. I enjoy being able to watch my son learn and being able to personally make a positive impact on his education. It is rewarding to know I am having a direct effect on his future success. I enjoy being able to adjust our lessons to match his interests. Homeschooling has allowed me to make his education more relevant and has helped him view school in a more positive light.
#3: I am NOT a good cook
I love providing meals for my family and enjoy looking up recipes on Pinterest. I enjoy grocery shopping for the ingredients and I even have fun cooking the meal. Despite all of this, I’ve learned that I need a lot more practice and maybe need to invest time in watching some YouTube videos to improve my skills. While I’m not a good cook, I’m thankful for family who pretends it taste okay and appreciates my effort.
#4: Being a perfectionist is NOT always a good thing
Throughout this pandemic there have been many posts online about what people are doing to survive. There are moms making beautiful schedules for their families and planning multiple fun and creative activities for their kids. There are people finding new hobbies and enjoying the extra time at home.
I’ve tried really hard to appear to have it all together. I spent time planning fun activities, cooking meals, and doing all the things.
With all my trials, I’ve learned that it is okay to not be okay. It is okay to be struggling. It is okay to not be able to do it all. This situation is not permanent and it will pass. I’ve learned that as much as I try to do everything super well, at the end of the day I’m not doing anything well if it is causing me stress.
#5 I shop WAY too much
My bank account has been loving this pandemic. I can’t go to Target and buy things I don’t need. There is no reason for me drive around town and waste gas. I can’t run to Starbucks whenever I want to get a quick coffee. (I mean, I can do that…. but have you seen the drive through line lately? That’s a no for me.) I can’t even buy many things on Amazon because its all out of stock or has like a month delay on delivery. Who wants to wait that long for an impulse buy?
All in all, I’ve realized life is okay. The world is in crisis and the situation is terrible, but life is still good. I have the most amazing friends and family. My boyfriend loves me and treats me way better than I deserve some days. I am still able to generate income. My son is continue to progress in school. Tomorrow will be a new and better day.
